Living with a phobia can be a very limiting thing. When I was little I would vomit when I would see a spider....yes, that is arachnophobia at its finest. Over the years I have attempted to curb this fear. In the fourth grade I was super brave and actually held a spider. Okay, okay, it was so small that it was difficult to see, but still, I held it! The last few years I was fortunate enough to have roommates who would see the death note I would leave on a post-it note stuck to the jar covering the spider. The roommates usually obliged and took the "hit-money" of 24 cents as they got rid of the body. My luck was holding as I moved in with LG who has also agreed to kill for me. This luck ran out last night...
It was bound to happen eventually, I just never suspected it would go down like this. It was a hot, muggy DC summer night, LG and I went for a run on our favorite loop. After passing the monuments, we made it to the Memorial bridge which is the on the home stretch. We had been on this bridge just days before so I was very comfortable, however, time of day is EVERYTHING. This time it was 9 PM, not 9 AM. MISTAKE.
I brushed against the metal fence as I had done before, but this time I felt that stomach-turning, skin-crawling, hair-like stick that only comes from spider webs. My eyes refocused and I realized that each side of the fence, the entire length of the bridge was covered with THOUSANDS of SPIDERS just waiting and watching!!! (LG even says it was this many so I am not overestimating)
I could only walk to the other end of the long, long bridge. I wish I had not been so paralyzed, I would have run. As the full blown panic attack set in, LG helped me walk in the very center of the path and told me to just look down. I hate to admit, but I was sobbing with fear by the time we were off the bridge. It took me a bit to be able to breath evenly again. LG didn't even make fun of me...and there was plenty to make fun of.
This was definitely the most awful spider experience yet, and I have had so many. I do wish there was a way to find out how this phobia started...maybe in that dark playroom in Roberts, Idaho.
3 comments:
Oh! That is so bad! Felicia will certainly have emphathy for you. One of the marriage vows she made Dave make was to kill all spiders in the house and elsewhere as needed. I still am trying to talk my way out of the fear of heights- good luck with spider talk! mom
Awwww! I would have died. Really. I would have just curled up on the ground and waited for the sweet release of death. Way to puch thru. I wish I could make fun of you for that. I just don't have it in me.
YUCK!
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